Over the years, I’ve found many excuses why it’s not happening. “”First, let’s take care of my excuses: the women you get to talk with, at the speed dating, are not exactly Angelina Jolie either, and they also have their own favourite excuses, why it’s not working for them. That’s why I have condensed my success into the 10 Secrets of Successful Speed Dating, below. Dress appropriately, smart, casual, CLEAN, trying to impress, but something you are comfortable with.
One of the biggest challenges is entering the room - the first impression - and it is massively important. OK, there is an imaginary string coming out the top of your head. You will feel your rib cage rising, stomach coming in, and spine straightening. Congratulations, you just grew 1-2 inches, and, look more commanding!
Many pre-judgements and decisions are already made in that moment. Don’t puff out your chest, or push your shoulders back to much - if it feels really uncomfortable, it probably looks that way too. Here’s the difficult part (for us men), keep breathing, ready - and add a smile. there may be a feeling of happiness and lightness when you do this.
“I’m not exactly Brad Pit“; “I’m too busy to have a girlfriend”; “I don’t get to meet many women”; “I’m too shy to ask for a date”; or “I don’t have that gift of chatting-up women”. An old Sales Manager said to me years ago, “if they come in the door, they already want it, so make sure they don’t leave ’til they get it”. Warning: This is not a ’get sex quick’ scheme, for that, I suggest you go elsewhere. Before we get into that, a quick check that you have the basics - these are not secrets! Have a shower (a proper one, with soap and everything).
Some secrets will come instantly, but most, I suggest you practice a little beforehand. Fortunately, there is something we can do about it, and looking around the room there is a lot of guys slouching - already you stand out from the crowd (don’t worry, they are all checking you out! In this situation, it is common for us to hold our breath or breathe very shallow. Bring your attention to your belly-button, breath in and your stomach rises, breath out and it falls (like a baby! When you enter the room, avoid looking awkward, or like a lost child.
Pick another guy on his own, walk up to him (breathe and smile), and say hello.
Exchange greetings, names and whatever banter comes naturally (if any! Then be quite for a few seconds - remember to breathe and smile - to keep you relaxed. remember silence can be golden, and sometimes even intimate.
Allow her to ask her question; it’s likely she has one prepared.